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{{بيانات وثيقة
|نوع الوثيقة=تدوينة
|مؤلف=يارا سلام
|محرر=
|لغة=en
|بالعربية=
|المصدر=شغف
|تاريخ النشر=2014-04-03
|تاريخ الاسترجاع=2018-10-29
|مسار الاسترجاع=https://talkingpersonal.blogspot.com/2014/04/the-feminist-identity-and-sexual-taboos.html
|نسخة أرشيفية=https://archive.fo/SEpeW
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|العنوان الأصلي=
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}}
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I was fortunate, back in 2009, to meet two amazing Palestinian women who helped me shape so much of my feminist believes. We had many debates that opened my eyes to issues that I never discussed with other feminists before them, like how the streets are not constructed to accommodate women's needs in terms of lighting for example, and we talked as well about very personal issues such us hair removal (here is a post that I liked about this issue), 'grooming', and beauty biases at work and in social life (here is a great book that explores part of this). We also talked about sex.
I'll only talk here about heterosexual practices because this is what I, and my friends, were discussing. Setting aside the too-silly-to-respond-to comment of men haters feminists, none of us hated men, we talked about whether there were certain sexual acts can be labeled as degrading to women, or patriarchal, or humiliating. Can we say that a certain sexual act is degrading to all women? And what does that mean for women who (or want to) practice this act? Does it make them victims to patriarchal value? Are they oppressed or can't realized that they are affected by the patriarchal society and the way it is shaping our understanding of sexuality and how we practice it?
Let's move a step behind to address something that is a bit related. There is a feminist debate about pornography, whether it should be banned or not (you can read something on that debate here), and as a result some feminists don't watch porn because all the arguments that says it's an industry based on objectifying women and it's degrading, etc. Others see porn as a source to learn and exercise their sexuality. A position in the middle that a feminist friend told me about once is that she watches Hentai porn, or the newly created category of Female Friendly porn, and others just read erotic stories because it does not include human being in action.
How can we disconnect our views on sexuality from what patriarchy teaches us on daily basis about what is sexy, what is arousing, etc.? How can we believe in the agency of a woman who enjoys practicing BDSM for example? The question becomes even more difficult if a woman lives in a society that constantly practices sexual violence in the daily sexual harassment or sexual assault that women face? How can one speaks of groping, fingering, dirty talking in a consensual context when it is constantly being forced on women in the streets, leaving only one connection: certain sexual acts and behaviors belong to harassers and rapists, they come only by force.
I don't believe that certain acts are universally degrading to all women. Sometimes it feels degrading with someone, while it feels empowering with someone else, and I don't think that being a feminist confine my sexuality in a certain box - otherwise I am a bad feminist. On the contrary, for me, women who explore their sexuality in different forms defy societal norms about what is degrading for women and what is not. For me, they claim back in action what is being taken away from us - to decide and experience what and how they can enjoy their bodies and not fear a judgement based on how sexuality is being mainstreamed.
[[تصنيف:جنسانية النساء]]